coraLai

You’re the Reason

Every night I feel blue

Remembering each time I see you

just don’t know what to do

Especially when i get near you

Its hard to see

that our love wasn’t meant to be

but its harder to know

that you rejected me and said no

so i lock myself up in my room

my face in total gloom

tears streaming down my face

wishing i’d get out of this phase

even if you don’t want me to

i will still love you

cause if it isn’t for the pain you’ve caused me

i wouldn’t realize how strong i could be.

oh the follies of my young, puberty-/panic-/"unrequited love"-stricken,teenege, highschool heart!

…and to think i once SERIOUSLY considered poetry as my calling! ;P

change is the only constant thing in this world; life is not fair. these are just two of many other facts of life–easy to understand, engraved in our minds, yet hard to accept. why  does it seem like the good times are only temporary–good while they last. on the other hand, bad or the worst episodes of your (lame) life seem to haunt you wherever and whenever… they always pop out whenever you’re just trying to move on with your life, and when you’re already having a hard time, no less! well, they always choose the right time to kick you when you’re already down.. where’s change when you needed it the most? the only thing that seem to change are the times when, and the people that make, you feel happy and secure.. hayyyy, buhay  nga naman!

life was good—-until i hit puberty.

what is more important? the truth or what seems to be the truth? i.e. feeling you are wonderful because you really are wonderful, or feeling it just because someone makes you feel you are wonderful?

kung ikaw ang tatanungin, ano ang pipiliin mo, ang
patuloy na makaramdam—mas maraming lungkot
kaysa kaunting kaligayahan—o ang wala na lamang
maramdaman? siguro kung sawa ka na sa buhay
tulad ko—paulit-ulit, walang patutunguhan—pipiliin
mo na lamang na maging manhid. yaman din
lamang, patuloy mong sinasabi sa sarili mo, na
ang kasiyahan ay kakaunti, hindi ganap,
panandalian at walang katuturan kung pagkatapos
ng araw, mapagtatanto mo na lamang na sa kabila
ng mga tawa’t halakhak, ang pagbuka ng labi’t
lakas ng tawa’y kabaliktaran ng nilalaman ng puso
mo—isang malaking blanko o kung susuwertihi’t
makaramda nama’y walang patumanggang
alinlangan at kalungkutan…. madalas sa hindi’y
iniisip ko, ayoko nang mabuhay…. ngunit
masyado akong takot na mamatay…